'Conflict' Doesn't Have To Be A Bad Word

There are plenty of unpleasant synonyms for the word 'conflict'.  Words like -  "argument"; “confrontation"; “clash”; “disruption”; “struggle”; “combat”; “fray”.  None of them really paint the picture of a good day.  But, consider this.

One of the most overlooked opportunities for positive change, is conflict.  Conflict can be leveraged so that it becomes a platform to strengthen relationships instead of erode them.

Conflict has the potential to facilitate much needed change and fundamental growth.  The very presence of conflict let’s us know that something is not as it should be.  More importantly, it let’s us know where changes need to be made.  Changes that are probably long overdue.    

Because of the immediate impact that conflict can bring to our day-to-day harmony and comfort zones, we have a tendency to focus our communication efforts towards putting out the fire, and less on preventing one from happening again.  

Extinguishing the fire is obviously critical, but resolving a problem won't keep another from occurring. 

Most of us don’t pay attention to underlying issues or problems until they make their way to the surface; until we’re forced to address them. 

When does conflict become a positive occurrence? 

When Risk Impacts Our Confidence

Have you ever experienced that long, regret-filled walk back to your desk after a meeting; the one where you kick yourself repeatedly because of all the things you didn't say during the meeting.  

You beat yourself up for the rest of the day; on your way home from work; while you're eating dinner. Giving yourself one last mental beat down while you brush your teeth before bed.

You replay the moment a hundred times in your mind. Each time creating a different, more courageous version of yourself, than the one that actually showed up at the meeting. A version where you're saying all of the things you could have potentially said then, but didn't.

If any of the above struck a nerve, don't worry. These moments are supposed to happen, because we're human. 

On the other hand, you might want to consider panicking if you see similarities between yourself and Milton Waddams; the guy from the movie "Office Space" with the Coke bottle glasses, who let Lumberg take his red stapler.

As for me..I tend to base my communication decisions; the opinions that I will or won't share, on SWOT analysis.  The more risk I perceive once I've assessed the moment, the less likely I am to share what I'm really thinking.